Mission Failed

5:06pm
I have been holing myself up in my room from the time I arrived home from work (approx 4:30pm) until the time my room mate leaves the house for a birthday party (at approx 7:30pm). Completely to avoid seeing and hearing her. Or worse, speaking to her. Having to engage in mind numbing conversation. “Are you coming tonight?” “No” “Why not?” “Because I hate you” scratch that – “because I don’t feel like it” “Oh ok”.

I both hate and love that she doesn’t care what my response is. I hate it because she is essentially ALWAYS running on auto-pilot. Every word she speaks is painful to listen to – and especially to reply to – considering that it all means NOTHING to her so why bother even looking in her direction? She is a robot. I love it because I don’t want her to care about anything I do. Her caring may mean I should return the favour, no?

Avoiding her has been easy so far as she is not home. It is only 5:09 at the time of this typing though. I fear that I will go stir crazy in my room before she even arrives home and thus, will end up exiting my private quarters and going into the “common area” where she will most likely be wandering around aimlessly unsure of which one of her eyes to follow (one is lazy).

In all honesty, she will most likely be in such a mad rush to make herself look beautiful (a daunting task) for said birthday party that all I would see and hear would be flailing arms and cursing “fuck fuck fuckity fuck, I’m so late.” She is late? Oh, how unusual.

This all being said, I will most likely strategically exit my room when she enters the bathroom – then run back in and close the door when I hear the bathroom door unlocking. Just to feel free.

Update: 6:00pm
I held out as long as I could but unfortunately my stomach lining has started eating itself out of starvation so I must venture out before flies start collecting around my swollen belly.

I have successfully avoided her thus far. She went into the bathroom to shower and that means opportunity! I have put my dinner in the oven, and so it cooks. I also took this chance to snoop at what she intends to wear tonight to the club. She has an affinity for wearing more than one shirt. Tonight it appears that she will be wearing two shirts and a vest. Nice combo, girl.

6:44
Mission failed. We spoke. Well, I nodded a few times during possibly the most boring story I have ever had to listen to, which I will retell here, much to your dismay:

“So, do you want to hear about what HAPPENED today? Well I will tell you anyway. So, I intended to drive out to Vancouver tonight to go to the club. This will not be happening now. In preparation for the trip, after work, I decided to top up my oil and coolant as my car leaks both regularly. So I put some coolant into the tank and then I go on my merry way. Well, not even 5 minutes into my drive and my car is billowing a smoke/steam! So I pull into wal-mart and I get out of my car and step right into a GREEN LIQUID! My coolant had all leaked out…” I am bored just retyping this. Jesus. “So I popped my hood and I was trying to call my grandpa for help and I was holding up my hood and this guy asked me for change for the bus and I was like “CANT YOU SEE I AM IN A PREDICAMENT?” and he wouldn’t go away so I gave him 3 dollars. And then I bought more coolant and I put it in my car and I drove home. So like, yeah my car is fucked”

Does anyone care? I get it. You fail at living. I’m only writing this down right now so that I know I’m not suffering alone. You’re reading it too.