Breakfast Was Delicious

Rewind to last night. B, S, and I are enjoying each other’s company in S’s abode. S gets a text from M saying something along the lines of, “I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU – btw, want to go for breakfast tomorrow?” Ok, so she didn’t say I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU but she doesn’t have to, it’s practically scrawled across her forehead. The breakfast invite was directed toward S and only S – an only SLIGHTLY awkward breakfast since S can’t stand the sight of the woman and wants nothing to do with her. She, naturally, doesn’t realize this since she is only ever HALF aware that she is even alive.

Now, fast forward to this morning at 10:20am. I am awoken by a text message – B asking me if I would like to join her and S for breakfast at 11am. I agree whole-heartedly and much to my dismay (B forced me), I sent a text message to M informing her that “we are going to breakfast at 11am, if you would like to come.” One must keep in mind that M never wakes before 3pm on weekends and takes approximately 2 hours to get ready to leave the house, so I knew full well that she would not be able to make it to this breakfast date, which is probably the only reason I agreed to text her a wake up message.

10:25am rolls around and I get a text message from S saying that M has invited him for breakfast at noon, not knowing that he has already planned to attend the breakfast that everyone else is attending. WTF? I knocked on her door and said, “Just so you know, we are all going for breakfast at 11, that is including S, so he won’t be able to make it to your private breakfast at noon.” She decided that 11am was too early for her, so she didn’t join us. What a shame. Breakfast was delicious, just fyi.

Also, due to my own laziness and my desire to well, not go get toilet paper, I caved and asked M to buy it. I sent her a text saying “Can you pick up toilet paper, we are out, thank you.” So she brought home toilet paper. The rolls are so small I might get 3 pees in before I have to switch it out. Maybe I am just hard to please. Or maybe she is a fucking retard.

It’s the latter.