Drown

Before I get into the point of this post, I should mention that from time to time, M brings me a pound of coffee beans home. She does this because, a. I ask and b. she gets a pound free every week. Now, she could be getting the coffee for herself, and she does from time to time, but let’s be realistic: when you work at Starbucks 5 days a week, the amount of coffee you need at home is pretty minimal. In fact, she has only made coffee at home twice since she started working there, and before she started, she never once made it. Despite this, she always makes a huge deal about her getting me the free coffee. She’s always making me wait weeks even though she isn’t taking anything for herself and always commenting that I can do this-and-that as a fee for the goods.

Now, yesterday, I gave her an Ipod. Ok, why the hell did I do that? Well, I have three, and this was a first generation 1 gig Ipod Nano, so it wasn’t much of a loss for me and she does take the bus on a daily basis. Now, the real point of the post today is…

Tickets for a band that we all like go on sale on . I sent her a text message and asked her if she could bring me a certain type of coffee whenever she gets the chance. She responds with something like, “Sure! And as a payment for the coffee, you can buy me the ticket for the show and I will pay you back on payday.”
Whoa, whoa, whoa! As payment? The shit is fucking free, asshole. AND, on top of that, I gave you an IPOD. Kiss my ass, you parasitic bitch, and drown in your free goddamn coffee.

Oh, and on top of that – she told me that she would drive to the concert because she will have her car back by then. She said she can “take herself plus four people.” The concert is in 3 months, buddy. I don’t think we need to arrange our rides tonight!