Craigslist!

The day has come for me to NOT attend M’s big birthday bash! Me and a whole lot of other people, actually. Turns out that only 4 people that M actually knows are going. The people attending that she knows are: S, the love of her life. J, S’s sister and M’s BFF. Jenni (actually, she is B’s friend and she is only going because B was going to go, but B is deathly ill and canceled. Jenni doesn’t want to go but doesn’t want to look like an asshole.) And then lastly is the bitch that used my shower that one time and her slut cousin.

As she was getting ready, she casually mentioned that her and Tyler were having an argument and that he wasn’t going to be going. Who is Tyler, you ask? Oh, Tyler is her semi-boyfriend. I haven’t mentioned him because I didn’t even know she was still talking to him until she mentioned him tonight. M has a bf? How is that possible? Craigslist!

Yes, friends. M met her bf on the Craigslist personals. Awhile ago, B was over and we were chatting/watching tv/whatever when M was standing there texting and giggling on her phone. Annoyed, we ask who the fuck she is talking to and why she is laughing. This is a huge pet peeve of mine with her (ok what doesn’t annoy me?). She will often be giggling while going back and forth on her phone but whenever you ask her about it, she immediately goes, “Nothing! Nevermind!” Dude. If you didn’t want me to ask, you wouldn’t be rolling on the ground like a fucking mental patient every time you receive a goddamn text message.

Ok, back to the point of all this: finally, M tells us that she is talking to a guy she met. B, always extremely nosey inquisitive, pries some information from her. According to her, his name is Tyler, he is in his 20s, and she met him at Starbucks. She said that they talked for half an hour while she cleaned and they ended up exchanging phone numbers. B continued to ask things like, does he have a job/car/house/std and she failed to have the answers to any of these VERY important questions.

Now, through my own digging – and I won’t explain how, because I sound like even more of an asshole than I already do – I ended up finding out that they actually met in the personals section of Craigslist. He is 24, Spanish, and 5’6”. Hawt.

Oh, and I saw M before she headed out and I just can’t help but mention that her ass cheeks were hanging out the bottom of her way-too-short dress.