Sherlock

The other night, M came home and asked me if I had company earlier because the landlords saw a man in the backyard looking into their windows. Well, no, I did not have company, and if I did, I certainly hope he wouldn’t be peering into any windows. So, obviously there is someone casing the place and all my shit is going to be carted out by some ethnic minority in the next few days. This all relates, because M sent me a text message after she went up to pay our rent for the month and it said:

“The landlords said that the guy in the backyard was looking in the windows. Probably casing the place, so we should be setting the alarm all the time now.”

Um, no fucking shit, Sherlock. I have been setting the alarm on a regular basis and even more so now that I know there is a dude frolicking in the backyard fancy-free. It took someone else telling her in order for her to realize that a man in the backyard means amp up security? Fucking idiot. When my tv is stolen, I am personally punching her in the mouth because we all know they aren’t taking any of her worthless trash.

In other news, M came home with a new $70 belt as well as eye liner and lip gloss from Mac Cosmetics. It sure sounds like the bitch is rolling in it. Lucky girl! She did say that the belt was “a million percent off” and she used a gift card for it. Where the fuck is she getting all of these gift cards from? Is she like Meredith from The Office who does tricks for Steakhouse gift cards? Fuck for those mashed taters!