Metal on Metal

You’ve gotta love Facebook when it comes to learning ridiculous shit about people’s lives. M is no holds barred on FB and likes to tell everyone all of her problems in the most public of forums.

Her status today: “So who wants to install new rotors, pads, and bearings on my brakes? Will pay in cash and/or beer! I’m looking for it to be done in 2 weeks or so. I’m down to metal on metal and one rotor already seized, lol!”

That’s right. After she told everyone that her brakes are on the verge of failing, she laughed out fucking loud. That isn’t something to laugh about, you complete waste of a human being.


Update:

Oh god. She just sent me a text saying that her car has been keyed, scratched and dented while it was at the dealer today getting some sort of engine flush. I explained to her that it is rather unlikely that that much obviously intentional damage would be done at the dealership but she claims that it definitely happened there. Newsflash, they just happened to wash your car for the first time since you’ve had it and all of a sudden you notice all the nicks that the dirt used to cover up.

They also weren’t going to give her car back to her at the dealer because her brakes are so worn down that they claim it isn’t road safe. Wow, and M is NOTORIOUS for not leaving enough distance when she brakes ( I know, I thought she was notorious for flirting too, guess we were wrong!)

Anyway, she just got home and I asked her about the damage. She said that there are scratches all over it and that the key scratch goes all the way from the headlight to the tail light. Wow. No one noticed the onslaught of physical damage being done to her car? No one saw the 15 year old with the baseball bat in broad fuckin’ day light?

She has told me that she is going to do the brakes herself because she saw a video on Youtube that explained the procedure step by step. My god. I am going to set up a lawn chair and watch this shit happen. I think I could probably sell admission to this gong show.

Ok, I’m tired already but I gotta get this out there: This Friday there is going to be a fundraiser for S’s lacrosse team and M is in charge of organizing it. I know what you’re thinking, this girl couldn’t organize apples and oranges, how the fuck is she going to organize an entire fundraiser? Well, who gives a shit, I like watching her fail.

Anyway, awhile ago she told me that there was going to be an espresso machine for the silent auction and when I asked about that tonight she told me that she won’t be able to afford the machine now. Confused, I asked her, “What do you mean you can’t afford the machine? Isn’t Starbucks donating it?” Turns out that M was actually going to buy the thing herself and donate it. I couldn’t help it, I burst into laughter. To which she whipped out the snob, “Well if you don’t want to know the answer, why did you ask?” Oh I did want to know the answer! I just had no idea that the answer would be the belly laugh of the century. M, YOU ARE POOR. YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO DONATE ANYTHING BUT GARBAGE.

*Sorry for my slight hiatus, I was deathly ill but thankfully, I’ve pulled through.